[i should just click my heels together and go home/but i'm not sure where that is anymore]

WHERE have I BEEN?!

I am quite embarrassed. Please forgive me? But I am here. And bursting with stories and thoughts and brilliant quotes from books and people I love. Get. Excited.

Out of respect for my own thoughts, I'm going to first paste an entry I had started a few weeks ago:

I have held residency in seven different states, lived in thirteen different "homes" (yes, I'm including dorm rooms on the St. Olaf campus), and I assumed that would make me a professional mover. In many ways, it has given me useful skills and a generally positive attitude to keep me going throughout the process. And perhaps my roommate and I should give ourselves a lot of credit for finding/getting/renting and apartment and then packing/moving/lifting/carrying/organizing/drilling/hanging etc in just ONE WEEK (well, some of it has been a continuous effort). I do give us a lot of credit. But I have also found that I have inherited at least 3/4 of my mother's crazy organizational OCD, and living in a state of frenzy and DISorganization makes me grumpy, flustered, and unmotivated in all ways of life.

That's as far as I got. But just to update, we are a lot more settled in, and the apartment is just lovely thus far. We're getting used to the slightly longer commute, and with the help of new furniture, and being almost completely unpacked, things are much better. I will try to post photos soon!

I just finished one of the most wonderful books I have ever read, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I wish I could quote the entire book here, but I will just recommend it (if you haven't already read it), and add this small selection of brilliance below:

"I miss what I already have, and I surround myself with things that are missing...[it's the tragedy of loving, you can't love anything more than something you miss]...you cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."

It's like that book went into my soul and spit it out, showing me that I am not alone in my crazy thoughts. I laughed, I cried, and I quite seriously considered finding a way to adopt Oskar Schell, as he is the most wonderful child ever. Please read this if you haven't. AND I found out that Jonathan Safran Foer is MARRIED to one of my other favorite writers right now, Nicole Krauss (The History of Love, Great House, Man Walks Into a Room), which is honestly orgasmic, more so for them than me, haha, but I think that it's an appropriate description ;o)

Speaking of missing things...I was just home with the fam and friends for a week...and I get to go back on Thursday! I love being home. Which is odd, because I didn't even grow up there. But I love it. I know I've talked about Milwaukee multiple times in this blog, so I won't get into that, but sometimes I really don't know where I'm supposed to be. I love all the moving around I did as a kid...and an adult...however, I have come to realize that I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Not in a bad way, but definitely in a confusing way. I should rephrase that. I feel like I belong too many places. I wish that I could split my life into three or four lives, and each one could follow a different path, and then we'd see which Amanda was the happiest at the end. Since that isn't possible...what shall I do? I wish there was someone who made all of my choices for me.

Perhaps this isn't the glorious update I promised...but I WILL close with a photo from the airplane :o)

[amanda]

title quote: Much Farther To Go, Rosie Thomas